Y’all Don’t Love Black Women, For Real!
Let’s just cut to the chase this past week especially has helped me realize even more— folks really don’t like Black women. Consuming us tends to often be the top priority for many in the world. From our flavor, our razzle-dazzle down to everything we touch, yet the moment we shine too much, take up too much space now you are allergic to us. We are only loved when black women stay in our place according to you.
Relax and unclutch your pearls, let’s talk about it. When black women are consistently showing up for the world we are celebrated, barely none the less celebrated! This isn’t a new concept of black women being a stepping stool while never truly being able to wear a crown. Let’s dive into a few recent examples that remind us that black women stay winning, while most folks stay hating.
Now I know you know who our vegan Auntie Tab is right? She doesn’t need an introduction as collectively she happens to the auntie to the world. Very good. It has been so refreshing to watch her glow up in so many different ways. She’s definitely help me with so many amazing vegan recipes for me and my husband. Not only the recipes she reminds us all how to lean into being our most authentic self, don’t you dare go messing up no one else’s day down to reminding us to never code switch the world has fallen in love with her southern drawl. Literally exuding kindness, warmth and love never bothering anyone. From YouTube show Tab Time that my nieces love to, cookbooks, wines, food, clothing collabs, and much more. I was in shock watching a creator self-appointed chef give such unsolicited commentary on the collaborations with Target and Tabitha Brown. I wasn’t the only one shocked there were many other folks on Tik Tok feeling the same exact way. He gave this commentary from the front seat of his car, no knock but sir please!
Listen opinions are like asses, we all have them right? We aren’t without the opportunity to provide our opinion, yet my question becomes, Why? Why is it needed? Who asked for it? Who made you the expert on speaking on this topic. I’ll take it a step further, of all the topics we can be discussing why is a black woman’s business the topic you choose to cover? Being a black woman it becomes so exhausting when we are constantly judged, criticized harsher than anyone else both in our field or out. It could be the joy she exudes from just minding her business. The most unproblematic person we have come across in many years. The truth is, folks get real uncomfortable when Black women become too successful. It feels like you start winning too much, it’s like, “Who does she think she is?”
Thinking about Auntie Tab made me think of another black woman who is sharp, bold, and so unapologetic, Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett. There hasn’t been a time yet where she bites her tongue or shrinks in the spaces she is in. From calling out hypocrisy or laying out the facts, she’s not here to play nice with people who don’t respect her community or her office. But what happens when a Black woman like Crockett, who refuses to play small, steps onto the political stage?
She goes from being black girl magic to being seen as “aggressive,” her ability to call out lies, bad behavior and simply telling the truth is “too much,” leaving people asking maybe she can tone it down a bit. Yet those who are loud, wrong and beyond disrespectful are allowed to flourish, let Jasmine come through with facts and energy, it’s a problem.
It’s a reoccurring theme, —Black women are loved when we’re doing the work quietly, but the second we raise our voices or rise too high, we’re a threat.
As a pew baby, a pastor’s kid I have seen this running theme of distain for black women growing up all my life. It is clear that the black church wouldn’t be what it is without Black women. Over the years I have watched black women go from overseeing the Sunday afternoon after church dinners to guiding the local church to extensive growth and change. Black women are powerful in their influence, their ability to build community, motivate and stimulate change in the local church. Black women are organizing, consulting and keeping the pulse of the changes happening both in and out of the church. Black women will shift atmospheres, inspire change and still be seen as incompetent by the males counterparts. Personally I have sat at tables, provided consult in regards to changes to be implemented only to be told in so many words, “Your input is NOT needed.” We are praised in the front for the people yet never able to lead without their being strings attached to the men who are leading. Black women are often looked to serve, never lead. There will be a Patreon post coming soon on how quickly the conversation is shut down of any talk of women becoming pastors. The idea women are held within certain barriers of servitude.
Black women, girl we are out here thriving in everyday regardless of who's mad about it. The freeing and beautiful thing is we are NOT asking permission to shine anymore. We will continue to embrace rest, soft living, leading and breaking barriers. Whether those around us like it or not.
To every black girl reading this, keep showing as you everyday. Tap into your Tabitha Brown by minding your business, leaning into your joyful and authentic self. Tap into your Congresswoman Jasmine Crockett, speaking truth to power, leading in the most passionate ways. To those women in the black church know that I see you, your leadership is valued and your voice is powerful. God called you to do great things beyond to what men say.
The truth is clear there are many who really don’t like or love black women. Guess what? That We love ourselves and continue to win.
Until Next Time,
Girl Be You!