Baby, I’m Weak!
Growing up my super power was the ability to feel nothing and power through each situation like as a STRONG BLACK WOMAN! Never crying over the situations that hurt me, broke my heart, that crushed me. Never wanting to be or look weak I took it all like a champ! For years I lived trying to prove to myself and others that I am so strong able to handle any and everything, living in a false sense of strength. Even being at my breaking point I found a way to once again dig deep prove to myself and others that I was strong.
With time comes maturity followed with a changed perspective on many things. On my 25th birthday my mother said words that couldn’t be more true. She said, “Jee you will experience so many changes within the next 5 years, as a matter of fact your life will constantly change.”
Mother’s are a gift, they know for real. My mother and life ain’t never lied. Being strong for you and others is Exhausting, yes with a capital E. It robs you of truly growing, embracing each moment as a lesson. It robs you of the vulnerability to just be true to you. You live from this place consistently being overwhelmed, hurt, frustrated and more than anything tired.
Last year I was running on negative E. I was saying yes to everything, I was mad all of the time, I could barely sleep. Family members passed away back to back. The very thing I was leaning on for personal strength was ruining me and my life!
I had to do something or I was going to lose it all for real. Over the course of weeks I said NO to everything that didn’t bring joy or peace. I left spaces that was draining me even if it meant not answering my phone. Then I boldly scheduled my therapy appointment so that I could begin to untangle myself from the trauma, bad behaviors and generational issues.
Over time I realize that the cape of strength I wore daily wasn’t needed. I have nothing to prove to myself or others, when it is too much for me I am going to speak up. Bottled up emotions cause an explosion later down the line.
II Corinthians 12:9 - 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
To keep from being super deep here, this is in invitation of embracing my areas of weakness. I said embrace not live in your weakness. As I embrace my weakness I allow God’s strength to help me through my tough moments. When I delight in my weakness I ask God to help me through these uncertain times. I am sure I am not alone in feeling all the feels this past year. Back to back hits to my heart and my mind.
There is joy in is the fact even in my moments of weakness, sadness, uncertainty I have God to help stand me up. My therapy sessions to help me navigate, talk through so many tangled moments in my life. Today remember your “Strong Facade” will run out. You will need to trade that in for healthier choices to your mind, body and soul.
It’s completely okay to embrace your weakness, that is where you find your strength!