Don’t Let Loyalty Kill You!
My father said it best many years ago, “Jee loves hard.” He is absolutely right. If you are my people I am going to be there for you. I am the friend who is going to be there for you, help you move if you need help, to pray for you, defend your honor. I’m riding with you if you in the valley or on the mountain top. If in the event we are no longer cool it’s may be either because I am too much for you or I have extended so much grace you have taken for granted. It’s just the way I am.
At the top of this year I begin to take a real good look at my loyalty of people, places and the things I aligned myself with over the past two years. While loyalty has the potential to be a remarkable quality, it becomes dangerous when we turn a blind eye to toxic situations, when your loyalty hinders your personal growth, and impacts our well being both mentally and physically. These were many of the realizations I was having over several months. I was putting my own personal happiness, my self-love on the back burner in the name of loyalty. True loyalty is a two-way street, baby I was residing on a one way street on Loyalty Lane giving all my loyalty to others. Slowly over time this sense of loyalty was killing my spirit, my dreams and had me crawling my way through life feeling so guilty for choosing myself other others.
My loyalty had to pushing my own personal dreams to the back burner to ensure those around me dream became a reality. In doing this we often somehow remained attached to outdated loyalties, it could be that we stay too long at a certain place we should have moved from a long time ago. If and when you give yourself permission to step out of comfort zones apart from your loyalty we have the opportunity to experience new things, relationships even the possibility of a brand new life!
After that reflection there were 3 takeaways:
Learn when to give your loyalty
Learn when it is time to take a step back with your loyalty
Realize when your loyalty is becoming a danger to you.
Loyalty should have the foundation of respect, reciprocity and healthy boundaries. Prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health above blind loyalty, even if that blind loyalty is to your family.
My reflection time of my loyalty simply makes me aware of how I will move through my loyalty. Loyalty is a powerful and beautiful virtue. It is imperative to not let your loyalty kill your spirit, hinder your growth or cause you to stay stagnant. Recognize how important it is to take care of you first as you maintain healthy boundaries in gaining personal fulfillment and loyalty.