20 Year Lessons!
Let me tell you something 20 years will fly by, you hear me? In 2001, I remember putting my cap and gown on so happy to finally be done with high school. I had no idea the twists and turns I was about to experience in my life as a new graduate.
Chile, to fill you in on all the years from college to this moment would require more time and a book to be written. While on Facebook a few months back I saw there was a 20 year high school reunion planned. I wasn’t sure I really wanted to go to the event but thought, what the heck let’s see what these folks are up to, most importantly what does everyone look like 20 years later.
Once I got there I realized there was a few things that didn’t change at all, I was still the ONLY black woman there yep keeping lock in step with how life was for me in high school. Only things different this time was they looked older, had kids and ya girl still looked like she was a kid in the face. My mindset had changed most knowing I wasn’t interested or willing contort myself to fit this space, I was going to be me fully and completely!
Now let me tell you I probably should have taken my yearbook with me cause I didn’t recognize more than half of the people there. They remembered me, I mean it wasn’t hard to do there weren’t many black girls in our graduating class. I was just as loud and lively in high school as I am now so yeah, dead giveaway.
Over the years I have code switched harder than anyone I know. Walking into this reunion I reminded myself this is the moment to, Girl. Be You. While talking I kept it all the way black, cause anything else wouldn’t be right. My former classmates were shocked, they never heard me talk like that, ever. Oh well! During one conversational the reunion I mentioned how I felt like the biggest nerd in high school. I was the girl reading my books going from class to class. I struggled internally with being the only black girl attempting to find my place in this world. I was navigating this space before there were Diversity and Inclusion classes created by white folks for people of color. I was a black girl running track so I was always thought to believe that I was fast, very stereotypical. My former classmate shares with me how in high school she didn’t see that awkward and weird black girl walking the halls. She saw a girl who was trying to figure it out the best way she knew. Even though I laughed it off the moment stayed with me.
After leaving the event my thoughts were racing. Here I was 20 years later back in a space where I once felt lost, unsure of me, shrinking me to be something I was trying hard to fit into. Life has a way of teaching the greatest lessons we will ever experience. The journey over the last 20 years hasn’t been easy, there have been so many moments when I felt like that 16 year old girl walking through the hallways feeling like a nerd. There have been moments where I was doing my very best when I wanted to just run away because it felt like it wasn’t enough. What I realized this particular night was I had grown so much. The growth wasn’t by the standards of others it was the standards of me embracing and being my most authentic self. I had done the work to love me! Love me the very best way that I could. Girl, that is a feeling that you can’t duplicate or even at moments put into words. Let my 20 year high school reunion be a lesson, reminder and encouragement to know you are enough! You are growing each moment and you don’t have to change to fit into any spaces. Just Be You, Girl!