Aht, Aht! Don’t Disturb My Peace
For a long time I didn’t know how important peace was in my life. Over the past couple of years it has been a struggle to keep peace as a priority. Over the years I have come to realize, there is no price tag for peace.
Next month we will be one entire YEAR when all of our lives were turned upside down snatching us into a new normal. The anxiety leading up to the days of lockdown and thereafter was at an all time high! Life was changing so quickly I felt completely out of control like I am sure many of you did. Lockdown seemed to trigger some old feelings of my peace being disturbed. Not being in control of anything, not able to see my family and friends as freely, working from home for the first time ever I felt like I was drowning. Trying to keep a bit of normalcy seemed to be in vain. I begin creating bad eating habits, not exercising, no morning care routine, just STRESSED out. Peace was far far away from me.
Towards the end of last year I realized I needed to do some much needed internal work. I was in a rat race in my mind, unsure of how to get out. I needed to get back to the fundamentals of what was important so that my heart and mind could be at peace.
I graduated college back in 06’ I jumped right into working a full-time job, always keeping a side-hustle going as well. I showed up for every birthday parties, dinners, events never said no to anything. Pushed through moments of not feeling my best just to show up for those who may not have done the same for me. I told myself don’t worry about that you just keep showing up. I walked around brokenhearted, hurt, sad and smiling. Over the years I was learning to lay these things down and embrace peace but not fully.
Here we are 14 years later hitting the lowest point I have been to in a long time I had to stop everything. I had to give myself permission to just STOP! I felt a nervous breakdown was just around the corner. Every zoom meeting was making me mad, every conversation frustrating me, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think clearly. Very few things brought real joy to my heart. After a therapy session I realized if I didn’t do something immediately it was going to end bad.
I stepped away from everything and I mean everything, work, executive boards I was sitting on, programs I was overseeing, meetings that were on my calendar. I had to take a break to just catch my breath. I decided to take a break from showing up for everyone gave myself permission to wake up slowly, work out, get back to reading and writing back to my passion work. I was untying myself from commitments so I could actively learning how to say NO. This was thee most selfish and best thing I have done in my entire life.
Disassociating yourself from people and things that don’t bring you peace is so important. It’s so necessary you don’t allow those who don’t have peace to disturb yours. You have to check YOU as you may be the reason of your peace being disturbed. Allowing your personal bad behaviors to rule, lack of discipline, lack of honoring your personal time, ignoring your triggers and powering through, doing everything for everyone else but YOU. It’s dangerous.
Be Quiet
Be Still
Be Alone
These three things scare so many. Why would you want to be quiet when there is so much to say? Why would I be still when there is so much to see? What makes you think I want to be alone? Society makes us believe these three things will hold us back from our moment. I would like to offer these three things are the very things needed in order to maintain your peace.
By embracing these three things you say YES to your internal and mental health, NO to the chaos! Taking these steps are not easy at all, yet so necessary for growth, truth and light to radiate from within to share with others. No one wants to be Swiss cheese full of holes and empty in places you should be filled.
Today might we welcome peace. Welcome the NO being a complete sentence. YES to the quiet, still and alone moments so you may gain clarity needed in your life. Say No to people, places and choices that will hinder us from learning the valuable lesson of saying YES to growth. We do this knowing we are worth a full life of peace