Hey Daddy!
My dad and I were having breakfast at a conference, someone walks by mentions how they just love our relationship. As they walk away me and my daddy crack up laughing. If people only knew how far we truly have come. This breakfast moment is nothing short of a miracle!
That day having breakfast with my father took me back to a time when my father and I literally wouldn’t even speak in passing. The idea of me calling him or him even picking up the phone for me was our reality just a few years back. To see us on the other side of it all is really earth shattering to me. I no longer grudgingly resist the idea that we are exactly alike in many ways. My mother and siblings now realize I speak full Glennism (a made up language I have coined in understanding my father.) The growth in our relationship allowed me to reflect as we celebrate Father’s Day this upcoming Sunday.
Much of my childhood my daddy was my hero. He was larger than life in my little girls eyes, he was my protector making sure that my sister and I were safe and well taken care of. My childhood is filled with amazing road trips with pictures of those memories to match. It’s when he was called to ministry that took our relationship took a sharp turn I felt I was losing my father to ministry. Growing up my father was always a bit tougher on me than my little sister it wasn’t until many years later I understood how parents handle all of their children differently based upon their personalities. Church became the highlight of everything we did. I could only see life through the lens of a little girl missing her daddy.
Over the years were ebbs and flows of my father and I getting along then a huge disagreement. This type of relationship lasted mostly through middle school and high school. I couldn’t see life through his eyes. I couldn’t understand the weight he carried as a father, a husband, a pastor, a black man. I couldn’t conceptualize what all of that meant. I just thought he was mean, tough lacking the ability to understand me. As a child words meant so much to me, I was an avid reader. So when I couldn’t express myself through words I would write. Letters met my father in his office after I felt I couldn’t talk to him. Growing up I couldn’t see what he saw in me neither did I see the path he didn’t want me to go down. Both of us adamant about proving a point in being right, strong-willed, stubborn wouldn’t be moved from our position of thought.
College taught me so much yet our relationship still was an active stand-off. Constantly attempting to prove our points through silent moments and being unshaken by either one of our views. Prayer, life experiences, growth and time allow for their to be a shift in the way we see things. It causes people to see, understand and love differently. I remember the day I finally saw and understood my daddy. He saw my car was dirty and I was literally driving on E, too prideful to ask for gas money! While talking to me he goes gets a bucket washes my car down to the tires takes me to the gas station and fills my car up with gas. I cry thinking about it. Something within me crumbled, my heart healed from that moment on I saw him. My daddy! A man who loves his family not by the standards of what others thinks he should do or be. I saw my daddy for the man who loves his family, protects them, prays for them, leads them, laughs with them, giving the wisdom needed.
There are endless memories of my father picking me up when life knocked the hell outta me. I stand in awe of the memories of my daddy literally reminded me of my strength when I wanted to just fall out and give up. So many times I believed I failed he reminded me that in life we often need to take a break catch our breath and try again. I am so thankful for the many lessons my daddy has taught and still teaching me.
Every single day I have the opportunity to love and learn from my daddy. My ability to extend love and grace I was able to see my daddy. I saw that my daddy has a pure heart, a true leader, loves God, his family and literally wants the very best for us. I saw my daddy in me over time, he has persistent about the passion God placed in his heart. He wouldn’t stop until he saw his dream a reality. He tuned out naysayers did and still does what he wants. Every now and again when I feel like giving up I tap into who my daddy is so that I might find strength to keep going.
I love you daddy! Happy Father’s Day!